Wonkette: Media Ain't NEAR Ready For Rodent-Brained Batsh*t Tulsi Gabbard's About To Start Flinging

[muriel_volestrangler]

Wonkette is ready for it. We gave you the whole entire skinny yesterday on how Donald Trump and the syphilis raccoons who orbit around his asshole literally believe that the ghost of Hugo Chavez stole the 2020 election from Trump with the clever use of Chinese Venezuelan Italian Jewish Space Dominion Voting Systems Lasers.

Amd in case you need a refresher diagram on where fhe Italian satellites and Hugo Chavez fit in (I forgot Chinese bamboo, too)

— Asha Rangappa (@asharangappa.bsky.social) 2026-01-29T02:35:56.819Z

...
Smooth-brained Ed Martin, the January 6 sympathizer nutcase who’s made 150 appearances spewing anti-American propaganda on Russian state TV, couldn’t get confirmed as a US attorney by this Republican Senate, and now has a job AG Pammy Jo “Karen” Bondi created for him fighting the “weaponization” of the DOJ — LOL — posted this picture yesterday morning with the Kraken lawyer herself, mouthbreathing redneck Sidney Aw Shucks Bugfuck Powell, captioned “Good morning, America. How are ya’?”
...
Even though Donald Trump himself is like YES IT’S ME, I’M A LUNATIC, THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE:


...
She has spent months on this, WSJ reports. She’s not doing any regular DNI stuff, nothing involving intelligence as her job title would expect. She’s doing this instead, and we can only imagine a lot of late nights doing her own research on YouTube have been involved. She is going to make a report on her findings! And if it’s anything like her report on RuSssSia hOaX, it’s going to be a goddamned embarrassment for anyone who bothers to read it.
...
This is how they’re going to try to steal the midterms. It is more impossibly stupid than anybody in the Beltway media has even begun to wrap their heads around.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/media-aint-near-ready-for-rodent

[Whyisthisstillclose]

1. Nobody with a normal brain is ready for the next batshit morning, let alone the next nine months

[Cirsium]

2. Can we say it now?

Trump is going to steal the midterms.

Some of us have been warning about that for months, but have been lectured and scolded, mocked and ridiculed. "The states run elections!"

[niyad]

4. I have been saying it since 20 Jan 2025.

[Cirsium]

6. Yes

I know you have.

[niyad]

3. ummmm, weren't those "pallets of cash" from chimpy's term?

[JCMach1]

5. Pretext to strongarm the SAVE Act and disenfranchise

Women (due to name changes) and poorer people who can't get to, or afford ID's or simply move around alot (no matching address).

[mackdaddy]

7. I think there is a probablility that Maduro was snagged mostly for this election conspiracy theory

And the drug charges were just pretense to snag him.

Now that they have him in a cage he will probably tell them anything that Trump's DOJ wants him to say.

Trump is fixated on the 2020 election. That is one of his main loyalty tests is to ask if the 2020 election was 'stolen'.