White House IT Guy Sends Out Reminder Memo About Child Porn

[edbermac]

WASHINGTON—Warning administration members that the unauthorized websites were not supposed to be accessed by work computers, White House IT guy Jason Kellerman reportedly sent out a memo Wednesday reminding staff about child porn.

“Keep in mind that every website you go to while on the White House network, even while using incognito mode, is cached and can be reviewed on our end,” the memo read in part, urging officials to avoid perusing risky sites featuring explicit images and videos of minors while on the job.

“Be extremely wary of clicking any links promising hot preteen action, as they may be phishing attempts that could download malware onto the server. Each time we have to restart the system because it was damaged by someone trying to watch videos of underage children engaging in sexual situations, we experience workflow disruptions and lose valuable man-hours. Please be respectful.”

At press time, Kellerman had reportedly sent a follow-up memo resigning from his position after seeing what was on homeland security advisor Stephen Miller’s hard drive.

https://theonion.com/white-house-it-guy-sends-out-reminder-memo-about-child-porn/

[CincyDem]

1. We are in uncharted territory when it takes me til the beginning of para 3 to think "Onion?"

[leftstreet]

2. LOL I almost made it to the end and link

things are wild now

[niyad]

5. These days, I check the link first.

[CincyDem]

9. Good advice !

[dalton99a]

3. Kick

[niyad]

4. I had to check the link.

[Maru Kitteh]

6. The Onion should be funny. Victimized children are not funny.

I don’t care what it says about the admin. Little kids being raped is very real, and not a humorous venue.

[MustLoveBeagles]

12. This is the second time

I winced instead of laughing at an Onion article. Satire may be dead.

[RandySF]

7. I thought this was real until I saw the link.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

8. I love the Onion

[Cirsium]

10. How are we supposed to know?

How in the hell are we supposed to tell the difference between parody or satire and the real thing? Actually, the reality in the White House is crazier than any parody could ever be.

[mzmolly]

11. Took me a moment to realize this was satire.

[Oneironaut]

13. Geez. The Onion is getting dark these days.