The Borowitz Report: Hegseth Bans Microphones at Pentagon After Press Briefings Make Him Sound Like Idiot

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/hegseth-bans-microphones-at-pentagon

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth imposed a total ban on microphones at the Pentagon on Friday, complaining that press briefings were making him sound “like a giant idiot.”

“I’ve been watching so-called news coverage of me and every word out of my mouth sounds stupider than the last,” he said. “I blame microphones.”

After expelling all sound-capturing equipment from the Pentagon media room, Hegseth proceeded to conduct an hourlong briefing entirely in mime.

According to a new poll, Americans strongly support Hegseth’s new policy since it saves them the trouble of muting him.

- short article, no more at link -



Good one Andy!

[Goonch]

1. ;-{)......

[FakeNoose]

2. He looks like a reality-TV star!

That's exactly what Chump wants to see.