It is to laugh - Some Text Humor - Trump Style

[3825-87867]

Application for A Position in the Trump Administration

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time Limit: 2 weeks. Begin immediately.

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions OR give
the first name of Bill Clinton.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion: how many feet are in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on
the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in America's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

9. Spell: Bush, Carter and Clinton.

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George
the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The Star Spangled Banner is the American National Anthem for what
country?

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium OR spell your
name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17. Which part of America produces the most Florida oranges?
(a) New York
(b) Florida
(c) Canada
(d) Wisconsin

18. Advanced math. IF you have three apples how many apples do you have?

19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?

20. Cognitive Test
Look at these text then cover them with your right hand and see how many you recall.
Remember, trump aced these.

1, Your home address 2. Your age one year before taking this test. 4 . The number of states not counting Washington, D.C. 5. Your answer to question number 3.



MAGA Red State Application for Residency

Name:_____________________________ Nickname:__________________ CB Handle:________________
Address (RFD):___________________________________________________________________________
Daddy (If unknown, list possible suspects):______________________________________________
Momma:___________________________________________________________________________________
Neck shade (Check one): Light red__________ Medium red__________ Dark red__________

Make/model of pickup truck:________________ Brand of lift kit installed: _______________
Number of empty beer cans on floor of truck:__________________

OPTIONAL EQUIPMENT INSTALLED:
___ Gun rack ___ Mud flaps ___ Camper shell ___ Air horns
___ 8-Track ___ Fuzzbuster ___ Confederate flag ___ Winch
___ Spittoon ___ 4-Wheel drive ___ Hi-jacker shocks ___ Mud tires
___ Running shoes ___ Load of wood ___ Dual CB antenna ___ Racoon tail

BUMPER STICKERS: ___ Eat more possum ___ Wave if you're horny
___ Free moustache rides ___ Redman chewing tobacco
___ Honk if you love Jesus ___ Shit happens

DEFINE THE FOLLOWING (Must get 90% right):
1. Grits_________________________________ 11. Cobbler_________________________________
2. Goobers_______________________________ 12. Fatback_________________________________
3. Greens________________________________ 13. Tote____________________________________
4. Poontang______________________________ 14. Hushpuppy_______________________________
5. Sidemeat______________________________ 15. Cracker_________________________________
6. Chitlins______________________________ 16. Tater___________________________________
7. Brunswick stew________________________ 17. Pork rinds______________________________
8. Moon Pie______________________________ 18. Field peas______________________________
9. Shine_________________________________ 19. Tarheel_________________________________
10. Redeye gravy__________________________ 20. Chaw____________________________________

FAVORITE VOCALISTS:
___ Donna Fargo ___ Conway Twitty ___ Loretta Lynn ___ Hank WIlliams
___ Elvis ___ Porter Wagoner ___ Tammy Wynette ___ Boxcar Willie
___ Willie Nelson ___ George Jones ___ Roger Whitaker ___ Johnny Cash
___ Slim Whitman ___ Grandpa Jones ___ Buck Owens

FAVORITE RECREATION:
___ Square dancin' ___ Pitchin' shoes ___ Spitting t'backy
___ Kissin' cousins ___ 4-Wheelin' ___ Drankin' shine
___ Cow chip tossin' ___ Bluegrass singin' ___ Watchin' Hee Haw

FAVORITE CROPS:
___ Corn ___ Peanuts ___ Cotton ___ Tobacco ___ Rug rats

WEAPONS OWNED:
___ Deer rifle ___ Bird gun ___ Pit bull ___ Chain saw
___ Tire iron ___ Axe handle ___ Baseball bat ___ Varmint rifle
___ Carpenter's level ___ Shovel ___ Sawed-off

NUMBER OF HOUND DOGS: ___ Blue tick ___ Black & tan ___ Blood
CAP EMBLEM: ___ John Deere ___ VFW ___ Vigoro ___ Cat ___ NRA ___ 84 Lumber
WEEKS UNEMPLOYED (out of last 52):_______ WELFARE CHECKS RECEIVED (last 52 weeks):_______
NUMBER OF DEPENDENTS: ___ Legal ___ Claimed
LENGTH OF LEGS: _____ Left _____ Right
MEMBERSHIPS: ___KKK ___ NRA ___ VFW ___ PTL ___ Moose ___ BASS ___ ACLU

Does your truck have any parts painted primer red (official state color)? _______________
How many cars do you have sitting on blocks in your front yard? _________________________
How many kitchen appliances do you keep on your front porch? ____________________________
When was your last Elvis sighting? _________________ Where? _____________________________
When you tell your wife to haul ass, does it take her more than 2 trips? ________________
Have you ever been sober for a whole weekend? _______ If yes, why? ______________________

CAN YOU SIGN YOUR NAME AND GET IT RIGHT EVERY TIME? _____________ If yes, prove it below.
NAME ____________________________________
NAME AGAIN ____________________________________

[BurnDoubt]

1. Diploma from KKKU?