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2 years ago today my husband died...... (Original Post) a kennedy Monday OP
So sorry a kennedy. That is a big loss. applegrove Monday #1
Thank you......I'm not getting any better at not crying. Can't believe it's been 2 years. a kennedy Monday #5
Perhaps too simplistic, but the depth of the pain of a death is a reflection of the... pat_k Yesterday #35
I didn't know dweller Monday #2
Thank you..... a kennedy Monday #8
I'm so sorry! I think sometimes people are hesitant to say anything Ocelot II Monday #3
My deepest condolences. greatauntoftriplets Monday #4
Thank you....... a kennedy Monday #9
That really saddens me to hear more did not reach out to you. I was not aware and many likewise hlthe2b Monday #6
I know.....I thought my family would at least reach out......my niece did and she was the only family member a kennedy Monday #10
I'm sorry for the lack of empathy for your painful loss and 2 years is a long time to feel uncared for Deuxcents Monday #7
😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 a kennedy Monday #11
I'm so sorry..sometimes people, including family, think everything is alright but don't check up anyway Deuxcents Monday #12
It's kinda funny.....am leaving 7 nieces and nephews all our $$$$$.......starting to think may-be a kennedy Monday #14
Take some of your money and do something for yourself or donate to charity..so many needs out there Deuxcents Monday #22
You should. FoxNewsSucks Monday #33
I'm so sorry dflprincess Monday #13
Thank you......loved what Joe Biden said.....does help, but still crying thinking about him. a kennedy Monday #17
It's not uncommon deRien Monday #15
♥️ ♥️ ♥️ a kennedy Monday #18
I'm so sorry, a kennedy! Diamond_Dog Monday #16
DU will ALWAYS be my rock.....emotionally AND politically. Thank you. a kennedy Monday #19
I'm so sorry for your loss wendyb-NC Monday #20
So sorry, big hug to ya. Eko Monday #21
I'm sorry cate94 Monday #23
💔🫂 OGBuzz Monday #24
I'm sure that your pain on this anniversary date runs deep. Marie Marie Monday #25
I'm so sorry. Sending a virtual hug. summer_in_TX Monday #26
Holding you in love and light. Your DU family is here for you. Lean niyad Monday #27
Peace 🙏 surfered Monday #28
Sending Hugs, and Love Your Way! NEOH Monday #29
Deepest condolences to you SheltieLover Monday #30
I'm so sorry. hamsterjill Monday #31
I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling JoseBalow Monday #32
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. area51 Monday #34
I hope you find some peace, a kennedy, Bayard Yesterday #36
I am so sorry for your loss a Kennedy jfz9580m 22 hrs ago #37
Grief is a stinker Dear_Prudence 15 hrs ago #38

pat_k

(13,790 posts)
35. Perhaps too simplistic, but the depth of the pain of a death is a reflection of the...
Tue May 5, 2026, 12:33 AM
Yesterday

... magnitude of the joy and love in the lost relationship.

When my partner died in 2011 (Senator here on DU), I did a lot of crying in my car. The episodes became less frequent over the first couple years, but I still get caught by surprise occasionally. I miss the ordinary things the most -- trips to the store, cooking a meal, walking the dog.

When the pain is most acute I remind myself that it wouldn't hurt so damn much if we hadn't felt so deeply connected.

Anyway, sending heart-felt regards and a virtual hug. Anniversaries are hard.

a kennedy

(36,260 posts)
8. Thank you.....
Mon May 4, 2026, 08:59 PM
Monday

Can’t believe it’s been 2 years…..last year I guess I was in some sort of just get by mood, now, I’m still just crying. If I don’t talk about HIM, I’m ok, the minute I say his name bawling just starts.

Ocelot II

(131,081 posts)
3. I'm so sorry! I think sometimes people are hesitant to say anything
Mon May 4, 2026, 08:54 PM
Monday

because they don't want to cause sadness or upset. But it's there anyway, and the remembrance is appreciated. I hope you are holding up OK but it's not something one just gets over in time.

hlthe2b

(114,429 posts)
6. That really saddens me to hear more did not reach out to you. I was not aware and many likewise
Mon May 4, 2026, 08:56 PM
Monday

But we are here now, a kennedy and want to let you know we care. May the good memories wash over you today and soften the pain of the loss.

a kennedy

(36,260 posts)
10. I know.....I thought my family would at least reach out......my niece did and she was the only family member
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:05 PM
Monday

that did, no one else. My lunch group, only 1 of a group of 8 ladies said she was thinking of me, and my husband’s daughter, who I love said something too.

Deuxcents

(27,528 posts)
7. I'm sorry for the lack of empathy for your painful loss and 2 years is a long time to feel uncared for
Mon May 4, 2026, 08:58 PM
Monday

I’m not privy to any of the other information but I want to send my condolences and hope there’s more compassion for your loneliness in the future..no one should grieve alone🌺

a kennedy

(36,260 posts)
11. 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:07 PM
Monday

I thought at least a few more in the family would say something.

Deuxcents

(27,528 posts)
12. I'm so sorry..sometimes people, including family, think everything is alright but don't check up anyway
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:17 PM
Monday

If they’re not asking, maybe you could find a gentle way to tell them..hey..I’m here and hurting, please talk with me. ❤️‍🩹

a kennedy

(36,260 posts)
14. It's kinda funny.....am leaving 7 nieces and nephews all our $$$$$.......starting to think may-be
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:22 PM
Monday

I should change that to animals and people that need help........

Deuxcents

(27,528 posts)
22. Take some of your money and do something for yourself or donate to charity..so many needs out there
Mon May 4, 2026, 10:19 PM
Monday

Whatever you do, I hope it gives you some pleasure and get to meet lots of like minded people

FoxNewsSucks

(11,901 posts)
33. You should.
Mon May 4, 2026, 11:51 PM
Monday

I came to that realization 20+ years ago. I don't have a lot, but I'll be damned if it goes to people who vote R. People who act out the pretense of caring or loving, but vote to make me a non-human.

So now what I have that's not already transfer-on-death will go to the two animal shelters here that my dogs came from. They're the only living beings that give a damn about me, and no-kill shelters need all the help they can get.

dflprincess

(29,403 posts)
13. I'm so sorry
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:20 PM
Monday

I hope people didn't mention him because they're don't want to upset you and not because they don't care. Not everyone understands that there is comfort in knowing that others remember our lost loved ones and that we like to to hear them mentioned.

We learn to live with our losses, but we never get over them. Though as Joe Biden has often said, the day comes when their memory brings a smile to our face before it brings a tear to our eye. Wishing you peace.

a kennedy

(36,260 posts)
17. Thank you......loved what Joe Biden said.....does help, but still crying thinking about him.
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:32 PM
Monday

Seeing all his “stuff” and photos of him.

deRien

(332 posts)
15. It's not uncommon
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:23 PM
Monday

for family and friends to ‘forget’. My husband died a little over 3 years ago and very rarely does anyone remember- even our kids haven’t said much since the first anniversary of his death. One daughter lives close enough to walk to the cemetery where he is buried and I know she has taken flowers to his grave. I’ve found that how people process grief is different for everyone. I’ve also realized that I will always be processing his death. Be kind to yourself and let your tears flow. Remember the many wonderful memories you have of your shared life together and smile.

Diamond_Dog

(40,914 posts)
16. I'm so sorry, a kennedy!
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:28 PM
Monday

I can’t imagine what you must be going through. Please know many people here at DU care deeply and wish you strength. You are not alone here.

a kennedy

(36,260 posts)
19. DU will ALWAYS be my rock.....emotionally AND politically. Thank you.
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:38 PM
Monday

I do talk to him about tRump, he was not a fan of tRump either, and when I yell at the TV about the orange piece of shit, I know he’s yelling right along with me. Thank you.

wendyb-NC

(4,722 posts)
20. I'm so sorry for your loss
Mon May 4, 2026, 09:50 PM
Monday

That's a heavy loss. I hold you in the light, take care of yourself, be well. Hold him in your heart with love and gratitude.

Marie Marie

(11,456 posts)
25. I'm sure that your pain on this anniversary date runs deep.
Mon May 4, 2026, 11:18 PM
Monday

May that grief soon turn to warm and fond memories. Until then, please accept the biggest hug I can send your way.

summer_in_TX

(4,243 posts)
26. I'm so sorry. Sending a virtual hug.
Mon May 4, 2026, 11:18 PM
Monday


It's a long, hard process.
I have two friends who have led grief groups and others who have gone through them. It may be a place where you can process your grief with others who have experienced it too. If there are any in your area, it would be worth exploring it.

niyad

(133,692 posts)
27. Holding you in love and light. Your DU family is here for you. Lean
Mon May 4, 2026, 11:25 PM
Monday

as hard as you need. Remember, someone is always here.

hamsterjill

(17,717 posts)
31. I'm so sorry.
Mon May 4, 2026, 11:45 PM
Monday

I think a lot of people simply don't know what to say, so they err on the side of caution and don't say anything. They fear they will make a survivor sad, or relive an event, etc.

The opposite is certainly what should be. When someone passes, that doesn't mean we stop loving them. There's still an empty chair at the dinner table.

Can you tell us a little bit about your husband? What did he like to do, etc.?

Bayard

(30,125 posts)
36. I hope you find some peace, a kennedy,
Tue May 5, 2026, 12:51 AM
Yesterday

One thing to think about....I come from a large family, that I was very close to, and miss desperately. There's just me and my younger brother now.

I can't tell you any of the dates for when they died, but I still know every one of their birthdays. I celebrate their lives. As Joe Biden has said many times:
"There will come a day, I promise you, when the thought of your son, or daughter, or your wife or your husband, brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye".

We care about you here, and understand your grief. Please talk to us.

jfz9580m

(17,709 posts)
37. I am so sorry for your loss a Kennedy
Tue May 5, 2026, 09:09 AM
22 hrs ago

I know how hard it is. Lost my mom in 2021 and am just barely over it.

Dear_Prudence

(1,188 posts)
38. Grief is a stinker
Tue May 5, 2026, 03:59 PM
15 hrs ago

I am so sorry that you are not getting the support you need. I recommend gently nudging friends and family to let them know that your heart is hurting. Some will be drowning in their own sorrow and can't help you right now, but some might be willing and able, or even eager, to share memories. I wish you peace.

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